When first I got to know that we are going to a hotel for the annual project party instead of the amusement park (i-magica, Mumbai), I was nervous.
Why? Well these parks are easy, they are big enough for you to get lost and most importantly, you don’t have to stick around with people as everyone else is also trying to get into all the rides. Basically they all are too busy with themselves to ever care for your whereabouts. So my plan there was to run for the rides alone as soon as I got in the park and stay busy with myself without having to converse with anybody. A simple yet an elegant plan. i wouldn’t have to talk to anyone and also no one will be free enough to try to talk to me and everything would be perfect.
But party in a hotel; those are never the whole hotel actually but a hall big enough for 50 or so people, where you have nothing else to do but talk to other people, no place to run away from the crowd. It gets even worse when everyone in the party is a face which you have seen before but chose not to talk to. Especially for people like me who don’t like places with many people and would prefer to stay alone playing video games instead of being stuck with people. In the mortal world, my kind of people are called introverts.
Now all these people, in a confined space, everybody has got nothing to do but talk, and talking is considerably the most tedious task for me. How do people do that? How do people start a conversation? What should I say to a stranger after “Hi” or “Hello”? I just cannot talk to anybody unless they start talking to me first, and they won’t do that as they don’t know me and they won’t know me until I go and talk to them and I can’t talk to anybody unless they start talking to me first and this cycle goes on forever. Hence, the nervousness.
So to get rid of this nervousness, I started planning everything. I planned about how I would enter the party (like a stud wearing the perfect outfit for a business party. In my case that was a cyan V neck t-shirt, oxford blue jeans and a black blazer). I had planned to meet everybody with a not too firm and not to gentle handshake and a smile on my face. After the formalities of the introductions, I will crack a joke most fitting to the situation and also most hilarious and the person in front of me will start laughing thinking that I am the coolest guy he or she has ever met and then I will see a familiar face and avoid the awkward pause after the joke by waving my hand towards him or her and moving on to greet them. It was going to be the perfect start. After that I’ll take part in every event there and come first in some of them. I wasn’t just dreaming this, I am real good at musical chair and math so at least 2 of the events were mine.
Then it would be alcohol’s turn. Now, I had seen people rushing towards the drinks and it seems rather uncultured. So I had decided that I will first wait for the crowd to clear up and then walk there casually to let people know that I am not a drunkard. I will have a large one of whatever whisky there is or if there are more than one brand available I will choose whichever one is the most expensive one on the rocks. I can’t imagine anything more impressive and classy. I’ll automatically become the focus of the party and from next day onwards everybody in the project will know me and respect me, involve me in all their conversations and no jokes will ever be complete without me. My plan was good. It was actually kind of perfect, involving every little detail from getting in the party till leaving. I was happily thinking, “It will turn out to be a really good party if I got to execute this plan”.
Well, there are no good stories without a “but”. (i just realized how easily it can be turned into an adult joke.)